Despite the fact that one in four pregnancies will end in a miscarriage or loss, the loss of a pregnancy feels like an isolating experience. This is particularly true given the reactions many women get from friends and family members: well-meaning people say insensitive things like "It was for the best" or "you can always try again." These misguided attempts at comfort serve to make you feel like your grief is being erased.
Mental Health and Grief specialists often refer to this as a disenfranchised grief experience- despite the realness and intensity of the grief experience to the woman, her partner and family members, there is still a general societal sense that we should just "get over it" and "try again."
If you or your partner are struggling with the intense sadness over the loss of your baby, it is important that you find some support. Find an online community of others who have experienced this loss, or reach out to a therapist with experience supporting women dealing with miscarriage and other pregnancy losses.
Star Legancy Foundation- information, phone support and videoconfrence support groups for famliies dealing with stillbirth http://starlegacyfoundation.org
Three Little Birds:pregnancy and infant loss information, resources and local support group search (PA, DE and NJ) http://www.threelittlebirdsperinatal.org
UNITE Grief Support After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death: in-person support groups (PA and NJ)
Reconceiving Loss: Information and online support and workshop forum for those sufferingf rom a pregnancy loss or infant death https://reconceivingloss.com
Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby by Deborah L. Davis
Miscarriage: A Shattered Dream by Cherokee Isle and Linda Hammer Burns
Miscarriage: Women sharing from the Heart by Shelly Marks and Marie Allen
Surviving Pregnancy Loss: A complete sourcebook for women and their families by Rochelle Friedman and Bonnie Gradstein
Empty Arms: Coping With Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death by Sherokee Ilse
Unspeakable Losses: Healing From Miscarriage, Abortion, And Other Pregnancy Loss by Kim Kluger-Bell
"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you."
- Maya Angelou
Sometimes, the best way to get support is with a licensed therapist who is trained in grief. Some therapists are cross trained in maternal mental health and grief, or specialize in pregnancy loss, and these therapists are likely your best resource in dealing with the loss of a baby. To find a therapist in your area, try an online therapist directory such as Psychologytoday.com or Goodtherapy.org You can search via zip code or town and, in some cases, you can narrow your search to specific specialities and insurances accepted.
Erin Jameson Saltzburg, MSSW, LCSW is a therapist located Exton, Pennsylvania who specializes in maternal mental health and loss. Click here to REQUEST AN APPOINTMENT. Click on the button below to learn more about her practice, Turning Point Psychotherapy Associates, LLC.